


Faith and Gain

by twoseas



Category: American Gods (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon-Typical Content, Explicit Language, F/M, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, It's Super Effective, M/M, Mad Sweeney content warning, Post-Episode: s02e05 The Ways of the Dead, Salim gets a big damn speech, Shadow and Salim get along, Shadow being tetchy with Laura and Sweeney, Shadow uses dirty talk to yell at Sweeney, and Salim and the jinn have a relationship defining talk, and get it on, but since he didn't, for Salim and the jinn, for the other three, now Salim has known Shadow biblically, the jinn shoulda put a ring on it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 21:13:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18484474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoseas/pseuds/twoseas
Summary: Shadow and Salim bond over the question of belief, their rocky romantic lives, and being the only mortals in a world of gods, monsters, and magic. If only the morning after was just as pleasant.Featuring a one night stand of sex and friendship, the importance of respecting people's faith and having open communication in relationships, Shadow and Laura's extensive and unresolved issues, and Shadow leaving Sweeney hot, bothered, unsatisfied, and full of regrets.





	Faith and Gain

**Author's Note:**

> I came out of season one a big Salim/Jinn and Mad Sweeney/Shadow Moon shipper and I wrote this right after watching episode 5 so I was basically writing like a madman and screaming "ANSWER FOR YOUR CRIMES" the whole time and I think it kind of shows.

**Shadow and Salim**

 

Shadow sighed out his exhaustion, the tangle of emotions within his chest so overwhelming he couldn’t feel anything but tired. He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of the evening air - the buzzing, humming, and chirping of insects, the distant rolling of rubber tires on pockmarked asphalt, the rustle of leaves, the scuffling of animals. When he opened his eyes fireflies were once more swirling in the air, creating luminous arabesques against the velvety blue black of night. 

“I have never seen that,” said a soft, wondering voice. 

Salim came down the steps, eyes wide and reflecting the light of the lightning bugs. His footsteps were slow and absent minded, his attention fully caught by the flickering lights. 

“It’s something,” Shadow smiled. He couldn’t help it, the open awe on Salim’s face lovely to look at. Shadow would like to feel like that again. He’d felt it with Ostara and he remembered feeling like that with his mom when he was younger. A small pang of sadness filled his already overflowing heart. 

“Are you...alright?” Salim wandered over, his expression turning worried. He hesitated a moment before he sat on the bench beside Shadow. 

“Nah,” Shadow admitted, turning away from the other man and looking back out. “Not even a little.”

Salim laughed and Shadow snapped his head back to watch him. He seemed just as surprised as Shadow. “I am sorry, I didn’t-”

Interrupting Salim’s stuttering, Shadow shook his head and chuckled. “It’s ok. I get it.”

They shared a few beats of surprisingly comfortable silence. 

“Do you believe in them?” 

Shadow breathed out slowly, carefully considering his answer to the tentative question. “I believe they’re something,” he shrugged. “I believe something important is happening here. But do I believe  _ in  _ them? I don’t know.”

“I think they want me to question my faith,” Salim confessed, voice barely above a whisper. “Perhaps even lose it so I may then put it in them.”

“Don’t let them take it,” Shadow said, sharp and sudden. It was his turn to be taken by surprise, his own emphatic delivery stunning him. But he felt right in doing so.

“Why do you say that?” Salim’s brow furrowed, but his eyes were attentive, willing to listen. 

“I don’t know you very well.” Shadow didn’t break eye contact. “And even I can tell how much your faith means to you. And in the way religion is supposed to mean to a person. You don’t pray for selfish interests, you don’t use your faith to judge or hurt others, you’re not using it as an excuse for your own choices, for being shitty to other people.”

“Of course not,” Salim said at once. “I would never.”

Shadow leaned in, his shoulder pressing against Salim’s. He didn’t move away and Shadow appreciated it. “That’s the difference between you and them,” Shadow told him in a hushed tone. “They want your faith for gain. They’re selfish and greedy and they want that belief you hold so strongly. Not for your benefit, but for theirs. And they’ll manipulate you to try and get it.”

Salim’s lips pressed tight, his expression a combination of anger and fear. Then confusion. “If you think all of this, why do you work for them?” 

“Because I have nothing else,” Shadow admitted with a pained grimace. “I don’t know what else I’d do.”

“You don’t have faith, something else to believe in?” 

Shadow felt warm under the concerned look Salim gave him, the genuine sympathy the other man showed. He was a good person with a good heart and his consideration was just what Shadow needed. “I never believed in much. Just love. And then my wife…”

Clearing his throat, Salim looked away and Shadow got the impression he was embarrassed. “I am sorry that happened to you.”

“It’s ok. I still believe in love,” Shadow laughed, honest if a bit self-deprecatory. 

“You do?” Salim turned his head and studied Shadow’s expression. 

“I do,” he confirmed. “Just because things with Laura ended up being...what they were, that doesn’t mean my love wasn’t real. Doesn’t mean love isn’t real. And I felt it before, real and true.”

“From who?” Salim’s voice was once more low, barely intelligible above the sounds of Cairo’s night. 

“My mom,” he admitted, tone achingly gentle and full of loss and longing. “She loved me so much I felt it. Felt it like a bright, burning sun. And I loved her back just the same.”

“You want to feel that again?” The other man’s tone was careful, curious but wary. 

“Of course I do,” Shadow laughed again. He was laughing more with Salim, a man he barely knew, than he had in a long time. He felt comfortable with him, his high strung thoughts and dwindling energy eased and reinvigorated by Salim’s quiet, earnest company. “Don’t you? Isn’t that why you followed him?”

He didn’t need to explain who, Salim’s expression turning a little mournful and sheepish. 

“Yes, I suppose so,” he shrugged. “Only...it is different than I imagined. He is harsher than I remember.”

“Maybe he’s trying to protect you,” Shadow reasoned, remembering Mad Sweeney’s abrasive, but honest, warnings. 

“Maybe,” Salim allowed, hands wringing in his lap. He chewed on his bottom lip, anxiety writ across his face. “Or maybe I have overstayed my welcome.”

“I can’t ever see you not being welcome,” Shadow told him at once. 

That startled Salim, his mouth hanging open and dark eyes widening. “Oh. Thank you.”

Shadow felt a low curl of pleasure in his gut when Salim scooted even closer, their arms and thighs touching. 

“I like you,” Shadow blurted. “I like how honest you are. Genuine.”

Salim looked up, grinning brightly. “You are very kind, Shadow Moon.” His grin dimmed. “Just a few weeks ago, you would have scared me and I would never have talked to you. Not like this. And I would never know how kind you are.”

Reaching out to squeeze the other man’s knee, Shadow tried to be conciliatory. “We all have our bad moments. Things we need to learn and unlearn.”

“Yes,” Salim acknowledged, still too somber. Shadow kind of really wanted to see him smile again. 

Shadow nudged Salim with his elbow. “I don’t blame you. I’m a convict and a con man. I’m Wednesday’s bodyguard. Physically I’m a lot bigger than you and I’ve been told I’m intimidating. I mean, look at me.”

Salim looked Shadow up and down before turning his head sharply away, adam’s apple bobbing. Shadow smirked at that, catching the signs sure as anything. He might have been clueless when it came to all the gods and monsters and I-Love-Lucy shit, but Shadow could still tell when someone found him attractive.

“Yes,” Salim nodded spasmodically, his voice strangled. “You are quite...large.”

Shadow threw his head back and laughed. “Thanks.”

Salim was still shifting uncomfortably, so Shadow nudged him again and smiled fondly, doing his best to assure him. The other man was growing on him in a way Shadow wasn’t used to. There was something undeniably straightforward and open about him and that was something Shadow had learned to value. 

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Salim asked, clearly changing the subject. He tipped his head back towards the house, indicating to the closed door meeting he and Salim were both banned from. Laura, Sweeney, and the jinn were all included despite not being gods themselves. No mortal men allowed, apparently. 

“Fuck if I know,” Shadow huffed. “I don’t know what they’re talking about even when they say it to my face. Especially not then.”

Salim shook his head, hiding his grin. 

“How long do you think they will be?” Salim asked, just making conversation, his tone light. 

“If they got into Mr. Ibis’ brew? A long time.” Stretching his legs and raising his arms, Shadow groaned at the cracking in his back. “We can go out, if you want. I’ve got the keys to the car and a wad of cash Wednesday just paid me. You hungry?”

Eyes alert and interested, Salim nodded. “Yes, I could eat.”

Shadow beamed at Salim, offering him a hand up as he stood. Salim’s thinner hands were a little cool in Shadow’s - soft and just on the verge of clammy. Shadow liked it. 

 

They walked back towards the funeral parlor slowly, both full of food and pleasant conversation. Salim was a wonderful dinner companion. When Shadow talked about books he perked up, interested in what Shadow had read and asking for recommendations. When Salim talked about where he came from and where he’d been, Shadow listened with an understanding ear. When Shadow turned the coin over his knuckles, Salim asked to see more, wonder in his gaze and amusement quirking the corners of his lips. Shadow even got to show him how to do a simple trick or two. He particularly liked it when Salim dropped the coin or fumbled with his fingers, the other man mumbling his frustrations under his breath in his native language. For what felt like the first time in forever, Shadow had a nice time, night uninterrupted by the bizarre or the dangerous or the otherwise distracting and painful. 

When they entered the building the door was still shut and muffled voices sounded through the wood. They heard a high pitched meow and the voices stopped before erupting with new volume.

“I guess you were right,” Salim noted, not seeming particularly bothered.

Shadow looked at Salim, not really wanting the night to end just yet. He was being selfish, he figured, but he didn’t want to let go of this bubble of peace he’d found. “Are you staying here tonight?”

“Mr. Ibis has provided the jinn and I with a room each,” Salim confirmed, something catching in his voice. Shadow recognized the feeling, his own heart firmly acquainted with it. 

Chewing the inside of his cheek, Shadow debated with himself before deciding on a resounding  _ fuck it _ . “Salim.”

“Yes, Shadow?” 

“Can I kiss you?”

Shadow held his breath as Salim’s mouth dropped open, his expression one of unadulterated shock. There was a tense moment of silence, Shadow’s heart racing in anxious anticipation.

“Yes,” Salim finally murmured, voice rasping. 

Shadow leaned in and pressed his lips to Salim’s, his hand coming up to hold the other man’s jaw. Salim leaned into the touch and pushed into the kiss with fervor, making Shadow grin. Their teeth clacked together lightly when Salim’s own smile grew, the two pulling apart to laugh breathily at the delightful clumsiness. 

“You can sleep in my room,” Shadow offered, his own voice gone husky. “If you want.”

Salim looked up at him through his lashes, expression hungry and sure. “I would like that.”

 

A noise and movement woke Shadow from the beginnings of another odd dream. It was still dark, just before dawn based on the greying light that filtered through the windows. 

“Salim?” Shadow croaked, running a hand over his face to try and clear the sleep from his eyes. Salim’s dark profile stilled. 

“I am so sorry. I did not mean to wake you,” Salim whispered, apologetic in everything from his voice to his hunched posture. 

“It’s cool,” he assured him. He blinked himself into growing awareness, now able to make out Salim’s sheepish smile. “Are you about to pray?”

Salim nodded, still seeming hesitant. “Yes. Would you…” He paused a moment. “Would you care to join me?”

Shadow rose from the bed. He was sore in all the right places and still sweaty, but he felt better rested than he had since his first night under Mr. Ibis’ roof. He considered the offer and nodded as enthusiastically as he could at this time of day. “Yeah, I’d like that. Can you show me how?”

Salim’s smile was warm and joyous as he answered, “Of course, Shadow.”

 

The two made their way outside when it was just past sunrise. There were no signs of the others, only the cat meowing plaintively as she rubbed against Shadow’s ankles. 

“I had fun,” Salim told him solemnly, though he was smiling. “You’re a friend I am happy to have made.”

“Yeah,” Shadow agreed. He leaned in and pressed one more kiss to Salim’s mouth. Something made him think it would be their last, so Shadow made it count, putting in all the gratitude, admiration, and appreciation he felt for Salim into the kiss. “I feel the same.”

Slightly starry eyed, Salim opened his mouth to say something only to be interrupted by Wednesday’s boisterous voice. 

“Now, that is not something I saw coming,” Wednesday declared. He stepped out past them with a flourish. “Shadow, my boy, I’ve more business to attend to. You won’t be needed and I think you’ll have your hands full here besides. Good luck.”

He was gone with a wink and a wave.

Salim and Shadow shared a look before turning at the same time. The jinn, Laura, and Sweeney were all staring them down, various shades of shocked plastered on their faces. 

The jinn was the first to move, stomping out past them both and towards the motorcycle and sidecar. 

Salim made to follow, expression etched with worry. He looked to Shadow with a sad, fleeting smile that Shadow returned, then he was off. 

Shadow sighed. 

 

**Salim and the Jinn**

 

“Wait,” Salim called, chasing after the jinn. “Please.”

“No, no,” the jinn scoffed. “I know when to give a man space, Salim. Please, go on. Perhaps you can suck his big black American cock once more before we hit the road.”

Salim’s anger and indignation rose at the jinn’s acidic tone and the way he talked about Shadow. “Stop,” he demanded, sterner than he could remember ever being with another person. 

The jinn slammed his helmet against the motorcycle’s seat. “Why should I? You have found what you were looking for and apparently it was inside the criminal’s pants the entire time.”

“Stop!” Salim ordered, voice steely and louder than he normally allowed himself to be. “You do not talk about him like this. You do not talk about me like this.”

“What do you want, Salim?” The jinn hissed, “You follow me across this forsaken country. You say you believe in me. You say all these things and yet here you are, spreading your legs for the next man to look at you.”

“Who says I spread my legs?” Salim shot back. “Who said it was not Shadow doing the spreading?”

The jinn froze, shoulders tense. 

Salim’s own shoulders slumped, anger fizzling out into sad resignation. “I am sorry if this hurt you. I will make no excuses for causing you pain. But you have not asked me to be yours, you have not given me proof of your faithfulness so that I may return it. If anything, you have dismissed me. You ask me what I want, but I have been open about my feelings and what I would offer you. You gave me a new life, a direction to follow where I could live my truth. And I have made it abundantly clear that I wish for you to be a part of that. The way you make me feel...it is something I wish to have always. But you do not grant wishes.”

Salim took in a steadying breath, his sight blurring with unshed tears. “You have warned me about the dangers, told me to go so many times.” Salim’s jaw clenched as he looked off to the side. “Shadow tells me you are trying to protect me. I thought this as well. But now…now I think I have been blinded. Blinded by what I feel for you. What I want for myself.”

“Salim…” The jinn breathed, his hand coming out to reach for Salim.

Taking a step back, Salim swallowed heavily and continued on. “I have not found any of the things I wanted because I have not felt welcome and I have not felt seen. None of the things that first drew me to you. Where before I felt understood and accepted, I now feel derided. That first night, I saw what I could become, who I could be. Here and now I have never felt more like that foolish, scared, good little Muslim boy you ridicule me for being. And this makes me think that I have made a grave error in continuing to follow you.”

“I only want you as long as you wish to be mine. I did not find you so you could feel responsible for a naive, repressed, failed salesman from Oman in a blue suit,” Salim told the jinn shakily. “I did not find you to be a burden. Nor did I find you to have my faith and my heart scorned. You’ve told me to go before and I refused, thinking you felt the same as I did that night. Perhaps I was wrong and for this I am also sorry. If you want me to go, tell me now and I will go. I will always be grateful for what you have done for me and my belief in you will not waver. But I will go. You have my word.”

Salim brushed at his cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater, drying the tears that fell just as he finished what he needed to say. He let out a shuddering exhale, his heart clenching and stomach heavy. 

“Salim,” the jinn whispered. 

Salim met his eyes, stared into the impossible flames that burned behind dark glasses, and waited to be sent away. 

Instead he was pulled forward, tugged into a warm embrace. 

“Salim, I am sorry.”

Hands as hot as desert sands framed his face, holding him with reverence and care. The jinn kissed him, lips insistent and needy. It was soon teeth and tongues and scorching need. 

“Stay with me,” the jinn implored hoarsely. 

“Ok,” he panted back. 

“Salim,” the jinn murmured zealously along Salim’s jawline and neck. “Be mine.”

Salim agreed. 

 

**Shadow and Laura**

 

“Please tell me you didn’t fuck Salim-Not-Salim,” Laura ground out through her teeth. Her hands were fisted at her side. 

“I didn’t,” Shadow told her. Her face and posture relaxed right until he said, “He fucked me.”

Sweeney’s cigarette fell from his slack mouth.

“Shadow,” she hissed. 

Pushing through the lingering pain of her betrayal and hypocrisy, Shadow rolled his shoulders and tried for a calm and even tone. “I think we both know who I fuck and how isn’t your business anymore.”

“Puppy,” Laura tried for reasonable, using the same voice she used when they were arguing and she just wanted it to be done so he could do what she said. “I know Wednesday and all this bullshit has you-”

“Laura,” Shadow interrupted. “I’d really like to enjoy the afterglow of fucking someone who genuinely wanted me, even if it was just for a night. So please, can we not?”

Visibly composing herself, Laura clenched her jaw before steeling herself to say, “Shadow, you’ve never been this petty. I get that you’re upset about what happened in New Orleans, but is this really the way to handle it?”

Sweeney seemed to fold in on himself, his large frame taking up the least amount of space possible.

“I am upset,” Shadow admitted, brow lowering. “But I don’t know why I am. And I honestly shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, Sweeney’s just your type, isn’t he? Tall, muscular, stupid, an asshole who’s partly responsible for your death.”

Laura shook her head irritably. Dismissively. “Puppy, don’t talk about yourself like that. You didn’t know Wednesday would do what he did to get to you. And you’re smart. So much smarter than people realize, even me.”

“Oh, I know that,” Shadow declared with absolute certainty. Then, his tone bitchy, “I wasn’t talking about me. I was talking about Robbie. He and Sweeney have some shocking similarities, don’t you think? Makes me wonder how you ever thought to even consider me when that’s the kind of top shelf quality man you could pull.”

Sweeney opened his mouth, looking offended and ready to argue, but then he caught the look on Laura’s face and immediately hunched back in on himself.

Expression falling somewhere between crumpled and murderous, Laura stalked off. She rounded a corner and disappeared from view. 

Good mood from the night with Salim sufficiently ruined, Shadow walked out towards the bench he’d first talked to Salim on. 

In the distance, a noise not unlike the smashing of stone or brick resounded through the morning air. 

Shadow pinched the bridge of his nose. 

 

**Mad Sweeney and Shadow**

 

“Didn’t take genie-fucking fairies to be your cup of tea.” Sweeney dropped onto the bench to sit beside Shadow. He watched Shadow closely from the corner of his eye. “But to each his own. Different strokes for different folks. Of course, you’d be knowing all about that, wouldn’t you? Was he a cryer? He seems the type.”

“Leave him alone,” Shadow snapped. He faced Sweeney head on, dark eyes furious and protective. There was a light there, the light of life, something Sweeney spotted in the bar back when they had their fight. But this was different. Purer. “Salim’s a good man and he doesn’t deserve your shit.”

Taken aback and intrigued by Shadow’s vehement defense of the other man, Sweeney decided to prod. “Must of been a good fuck to have your panties in a twist over an innocent little question. Maybe I owe the talkative fucker an apology afterall.”

Shadow’s mouth curled in a sneer. He looked ready to throw hands over the man who’d just left him to be with the ifrit. Sweeney didn’t understand why Shadow kept doing that - giving bits of himself to people who didn’t need or want or appreciate it. The dumb fuck. 

“I just don’t see the appeal,” Sweeney tossed out with a dismissive wave. 

Shadow’s expression softened, going almost tender. “Salim wears his heart on his sleeve - and it’s a good heart. He’s honest.”

Sweeney did his best to ignore the way that look made his gut tighten, made him want with an urgent longing, made him wish he was on the receiving end of that fucking soft hearted look.

“I’m honest,” Sweeney scoffed. “I’ve been honest with you since day one, but I don’t see you bending that fine ass over for me, Shadow Moon.”

“Maybe if you had ever asked,” Shadow responded icily. “I would have.”

Eyes going round and astounded, Sweeney sat up straight and gawked. “The fuck you just say to me?” 

“Maybe. I. Would. Have.” Shadow repeated, stressing each word. His eyes were dark and deep and Sweeney couldn’t help but gulp at the intensity held within their depths. “I might have bent over for you. I might have gotten on my hands and knees for you, let you fuck me in some shitty Motel America bed until the headboard punched a hole straight through the wall. I might have thrown your legs over my shoulders and fucked you until you came shouting my name. I might have blown you, taking you so far down my throat you could feel me swallow around your cock. I might have let you push me down and fuck me into submission, fighting you the whole way down until we were both bloody and bruised and covered in come. I might have fucked you so hard and so long and so thoroughly that you’d get off again from the sheer force of worship I would’ve shown you. I might have done all that and more, again and again and again until you couldn’t see me without getting hard, without thinking about the things I can do with my hands and mouth, without thinking about what I’d let you do to me, about how it feels inside me, to mark me in every way imaginable.”

“I might have done all that,” Shadow told him viciously. “If you hadn’t decided to fuck my dead wife, you dumb, necrophilic asshole.”

Pushing off the bench, Shadow strode off without once looking back. 

Sweeney sat there stunned - hard as a rock, heart thudding, pulse racing. He watched Shadow’s back as the man left to do whatever men like Shadow Moon did after a speech like that. A sinking feeling in his gut, the guilty and regretful one he knew all too well, cut through the savage press of his arousal, but did little to actually stop it. His cock wasn’t getting soft anytime soon. Not without a helping hand. 

“Fuck!” Sweeney swore, kicking out at a stray rock. 

He lost balance, foot skidding, and fell off the bench ass over tits.

On the ground with the wind knocked out of him, Sweeney stared up at the morning sky. 

A damp spot was already staining his trousers, right at the tip of his achingly hard cock. 

“Fucking fuck,” he told the sky morosely.

He really wished he still had his coin.

**Author's Note:**

> Sweeney and Laura: Shadow, we-  
> Shadow, through a megaphone: I will gladly fuck the first person who is nice to me and isn't one of these two people!  
> The Jinn, hiding Salim behind his back: Somebody please take his offer, I can only hide my human for so long.   
> Ostara: Say no more, sugar. Those thighs have got my name on 'em and I'm ready to roll


End file.
